moonlight

He is my Moon

Cool and shining, his face is

Broad and beautiful, and sometimes 

Hidden from sight.

He draws the waves up

And provides clear light

His story is long

And misunderstood.

***

When I declare to the world (or even to my tight-lipped Diary) that I am in love, that I am swooning and completely caught up and deliriously happy and grateful for my circumstances, too often I have promptly been swatted down--punished for my abandon.

Usually when I tell my mom, strangely enough.

I've mentioned Noah to my mom a number of times; at some point back in October, I think, again in December, and then most recently a few weeks ago.  Of course, I'm always so excited to describe his fine qualities.  Unlike the trend, however, each time I've simply had more wonderful things to say.

This man is a good man.  He's got his own style, his own philosophy, and his own set of personal values.  He knows what he's got going for him and he's content.  I see how he treats people--as if he was raised properly by parents who encouraged respect and kindness to everyone--and I'm just enamored.  He is completely genuine.

My goal these past couple months has been to slow my own pace (which can be reckless and impulsive) down to allow time for flowers to grow, for flavors to marinate, for the kaleidoscope to shift gradually into a new and beautiful scene.  I've made myself stop needing a definition for my time with Noah.  I've enjoyed having a crush that I fantasize about all week until I get to see him on the weekend.  And I've seen him every weekend!

I've spent three days with him, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  We've shared some closer stories about our pasts, I told him more details about my dad, he mentioned some aspects of past relationships.  We were sitting by the fire on Saturday night, drinking, and I clambered into his lap, facing him.  The precise details of our conversation by this point are fuzzy, but he did tell me that he was very much opposed to the idea of having a relationship...until recently, when things have started to shift for him.  And he told me I probably knew that was happening.  Maybe I do.  This whole situation could be us test-driving a scenario where we are major players in one another's lives.  We're becoming good friends, and I really like that.  I like who this person is, and I believe in him and his goals.  I know that's mutual.

My personal expression is so word-based sometimes, that in the past I've forgotten that other people might not follow my example exactly, even if they are equally enthusiastic.  Noah does things.  He is a man of action.  Certainly, he is confident and wise enough to actually spare a compliment now and again, but more often he is generous, gracious, and attentive as an expression of his deep admiration and caring.  I asked him last night if I was reading his actions correctly, and he confirmed it.  He's loving me very deliberately with every cup of coffee he makes for me before he makes one for himself.  He's bearing his heart every time he brags about the game of darts I "destroyed" him at.  He's showing how important I am and how much he trusts me by incorporating me into his weekend activities and errands and gatherings.

And when I sleep over, he has his arms wrapped around me literally all night.  I spend all week in my own bed alone and I'm practically aching to have those arms around me...even with the snoring and the 20-minute increments of sleep!

I adore him.

And for Valentine's Day, I will cook him dinner (for the first time!) and we'll take a cab to a bar that has batting cages.  I'm so excited!  Batting cages!!

So yeah, maybe this wonderful man will be my wonderful man at some point.  I'd be so honored to be his lady.