11.26.2008

past the quarter mark

Today I am 26 years old. It is the most surreal birthday I have ever had, and I've been awake only an hour. I'm in a foreign land with new things to get used to and far away from all my family and friends. I'm kind of sick, too, probably because the air quality and just getting some kind of bronchitis/throat thing. I did my hair in a pretty style, put on some gorgeous jewelry my mom got me for my birthday several years ago, and am listening to a wonderfully nostalgic Caustic Window album (Katie brought that back for me from Carlsbad when we were sophomores in high school, I think!).

Last night I learned how to use my washer for the first time. I also realized that hanging my clothes up on the drying racks with a standing fan still takes ages for them to dry if it's going to RAIN the next day! So damp is it that my clothes may well still be sudsing as I speak.

Two days ago I took a cab to get my Employment Health Certificate. Going through the process of my physical exam was very easy, but after sifting through waves of hundreds of people, I essentially retreated into myself and began to fret. Well, I have the certificate now, and need to apply to the Immigration office for a card, which should take an additional week. I need to have that done within 90 days of arriving here, so I'm actually really glad that they had me get started so soon.

I unpacked everything and put it in its proper spot. This was a milestone, because I've been psychologically paralyzed since I got here. Also, I thought I would be more relieved than I am, and am suffering a great deal of insomnia. I don't understand why my neighbors upstairs are noisy at ALL HOURS of the night! They are always talking or walking or running water or closing doors! For an insomniac, this is wretched. But the practiced deep breathing eventually leads me to sleep, and then I sleep solidly. Oddly, my mattress is incredibly firm, possibly as much so as the floor itself with perhaps a pad for a bit of springiness, and yet it is surprisingly comfortable! My first week here, when I was sleeping really well, that mattress was my best friend.

This week, it is television and Internet. I feel connected to the world again! I can keep track of things, I can look things up, and I can tap the vast resource of Internet knowledge any time I please! This is all very important for a lonely girl.

Time for breakfast!

11.20.2008

Feeling islolated!

(Sunday, 11/16/08 7:32pm)
Yes, this is two entries in one day. I lied, I am bored. I’m too nervous to unpack my clothes until I get my immigration card. It’s so great out here, the people are so wonderful, and there is so much potential in this city, I feel like it’s almost too good to be true. It just seems like that’s the last shoe that has to drop before I can relax. Until then, I’m pawing through my luggage to find clothes to steam or iron. Until then, I’m sitting around by myself in my apartment with nobody to talk to, nothing to watch except the few movies on my computer I’ve already seen. Until then, I feel very cut off from the world around me, since I can’t read Korean and can’t find a PC bang to use the ‘net. My coworkers in the building next-door aren’t home and seem to have been gone all day, so I can’t use their computer or ask for their help with my international phone card (it doesn’t make sense!).

Sigh. It’s just that it’s too early to go to bed; if I go to bed now I’ll wake up really early and I’ll be really tired while I’m at work tomorrow evening (I work from 11am until 7pm). I went to church today with another coworker of mine, and she took me to an English service. Afterwards, everyone was invited across the street to a fellowship gathering where they had a bunch of East-meets-West Thanksgiving food (a bit early, though, right?). I met a girl from Kazakhstan who said their Thanksgiving Day is today, she’s studying at the University. The pastor and his wife insisted that their son guide me home on the bus since they know where I teach and they live nearby, so I took the city bus with two 14-year-olds back to my neighborhood.

I’m just dying to talk to someone I know. I wish I knew my own address; I’d start writing letters to people! I wish I could relax and tell myself this is for real. I guess I’ll know in a week or so.

First weekend in Seoul

(Sunday, 11/16/08 8:12am)
Yesterday I went on my first big adventure into Seoul with one of the other English teachers. Well, first we had to put on a little mock lesson in front of two hundred prospective parents of nearly kinder-aged students. That was funny, and it’s so cute how all these little kids like to say, “Hi,” and, “Bye-bye,” showing me their good English. Parents here are really invested in their children, and though I understand fathers are nearly never around on weekdays, Saturday and Sunday are spent affectionately with family. Then I called my mom, 16 hours behind me.

Actually, first I woke up at 6am and leaped into cleaning my apartment. The situation is that the former teacher left the day I arrived, having packed practically the night before, and had two cats! One of those cats she brought with her, and the other she couldn’t afford to take, so for the time being that cat is at my colleagues’ house, hiding behind their oven and being completely traumatized. The result was a very fairly tidy place with a lot of things left behind (many helpful items) and cat hair under every piece of furniture and in every corner. It isn’t obviously dirty, but for two nights my asthma has woken me up, and that didn’t even happen to me at my parents’ house with their 20-year-old carpet…I knew something had to be done now.

I’ve been throwing items away, moving furniture, sweeping, cleaning surfaces and glass, and just personalizing my space. I’m rife with things to do, so having no television, telephone, or Internet connection hasn’t driven me crazy…yet. The television coaxial cable was cut in half inexplicably, so no TV for now. I have to wait to get my residency registration card, and first I have to do an employment physical exam, wait for the certificate of health from that, get my immigration card, then go get a bank account, and then get a cell phone and an Internet account, and perhaps a television account? I’m not sure. So this will be a process, and I have plenty of time to be methodical.

Then there’s the glorious aspect of my newfound privacy! There were some small computer speakers left behind, so I hooked them to my iPod and have been listening to whatever I please. Certainly, I need a stereo with better sound, but probably not so much bass that I blast my neighbors… I can really do what I please! I haven’t lived alone for a really long time, and though I had a lot of me-time and complete creative license at Toby and Tyler’s place, I couldn’t sit around naked! It’s too cold here to be naked, however.

Enough about me, let’s talk about Seoul! Here are some tidbits of Korean life that I have learned in two days: Everyone drives on the right side of the street, but in stores and on sidewalks they pass on the left. You can bump into people without acknowledging them and neither party is offended (there are too many people moving around each other not to bump into a few). Koreans really want to include English skills in with their education (enter foreign English teachers). Scented toilet paper is everywhere. Families hang out together (all ages!)! There are motion-sensors everywhere that activate lights in hallways, doorways, and along streets, which turn off as soon as you have moved along. They sort and recycle practically EVERYTHING, and if you don’t do it right, there is somebody keeping an eye on the trash that comes to yell at you. The weather is pretty cold, wet, and beautiful. The trees are yellow, red, orange, and some evergreen, and they delicately lean over streets and sidewalks. There is a forested hill just behind my apartment complex where you can go on walking trails through the trees; I can see it from my back patio. No animals, though. Laurie said, “This is Seoul; they’ve all been killed and put in soup!” Bummer.

The food is amazing, and restaurant portions are surprisingly large (American-sized, even) and incredibly cheap. Everything is stacked several floors high, and stores, restaurants, drycleaners, bakeries, PC bangs, everything, attempts to be efficient and also somehow grab the attention of the swarms of consumers. Oh, and shopping is a major pastime, and though the cheaper department stores I went to are set up like a Ross/Wal-Mart hybrid, people are very neat with the merchandise and there are employees standing around waiting to sweep up the smallest mess, so the floors are spotless. The floors in apartments (and everybody lives in one) are heated, called ondol, and it’s so much more comfortable than using a heater blowing in your face. If I were sleeping on a traditional mattress on the floor, I would certainly be very cozy. As it were, I am sleeping in a Western-style bed. I guess Korean women are crazy about Western men, be they geeky or GQ, but Korean men are not attracted to Western women’s perceived unfeminine, non-submissive natures. I guess that’s me in a nutshell.

I met with my new coworker, Laurie, who has been here since late September, and showed me how to get groceries and clothing, how to use the bus, and where I was on a map (most important!). First we got lunch and I practiced reading the menu items written in Hangul. I can actually do it! It’s a much simpler system than I anticipated, and if I may say, much easier than Kanji! Then she took me to a subway entrance to buy a transit card, and then we went to a bus stop to catch a ride to the grocery store. We first went to some bargain department stores next door to each other, to look at their excellent variety of winter coats (since my Phoenix-idea of warm clothing will soon be inappropriately lightweight). Then we went to a house ware section and I bought a trashcan, then downstairs several floors to the grocery store, which was absolutely teaming with shoppers and employees. First I bought a plant (I need something to be alive in my house with me besides the occasional wayward beetle), then meandered around the vegetables, where I was boggled by the variety of unrecognizable items! There are people all over the grocery yelling over each other to get your attention to buy their products/meats/fish/breads, or offering free samples, or both. Sometimes it seems like employees just pick something up and start talking about it to everyone walking by. I picked up a lovely assortment of mushrooms, soups, snacks, some sort of greens I don’t recognize, some seasonings and condiments, red bean bread (YUM!!!), all kinds of juice, coffee, and eggs.

Ultimately, my major impression of Koreans is that they are incredibly nice people. There is a sense of community here I had always hoped for but could never find with the sprawling nature of the U.S. It clearly has something to do with the amount of people efficiently compartmentalized into small space. Everywhere are apartment buildings ten storeys high or more. People look out for each other, but lack the sense of paranoia and entitlement I saw everywhere in the States. The crime rate is significantly lower, even in a city with 19 million people. I really love it here, but I say that from a perspective of someone three days in, feeling significant pressure to learn to speak and read Korean, do well at my new job, find some form of communication with my peeps back home, and remember everything I ever learned about French and Japanese!

First day in Seoul

(Friday, 11/14/08 9:45pm GMT +09:00)
I am completely, thoroughly exhausted. Last night, when I arrived in Seoul, it was 7:40pm on Thursday evening….after traveling for 20+ hours by car and plane, and having nearly three whole hours of sleep before my flight, and having only a two-hour nap on the flight (surprising! My nerves wouldn’t let me sleep…), the cab ride to the school from Incheon was very soporific. I really tried to look around to get a sense of where I was and where we were going, but I couldn’t even keep my eyes open, and I was too embarrassed by my limited Korean to ask the driver anything.

Arriving here has left me with a dazed feeling of bewilderment and disbelief. Did I actually travel 6,000 miles yesterday? I flew along the southern coast of Alaska and across a desolate, permafrost stretch of eastern Russia (that looked like soft white peaks of meringue). Flying over the ocean at 39,000 feet is very bizarre because the texture of the waves does not appear to be in constant motion, and believe me, I watched for any signs. All I could see was the skin-like quality of the blue and golden sea surface. Not to mention, it was sunset for at least five hours; the sun even set a few times! The horizon was pink and lovely, with the sun just below, and then it would pop up and gleam brightly, only to sink back down again with a hinting rosy glow. I considered the metaphoric significance of this strange event, but have so far come up with nothing.

Then, when I got out of the taxi, there were two extremely happy Korean women waiting to hug me! These are my bosses, but not the only ones. They brought me up to my new apartment, which was shockingly larger than I anticipated. They told me I had to go to work the next morning, since I came a few days later than planned (not my fault).

And then I was unconscious, finally, in a real, warm bed. I did not have the mental capacity to unpack anything, I simply moved around my new space a few times before going to bed. This morning, I woke up without the aid of an alarm clock (partly because I did not have one I could plug in…long story…and partly because my cell phone decided to die before the prescribed alarm time), but it was no big deal because I woke up on time and relatively rested.

I found some appliances left behind by the former English teacher (for whom I am the replacement), including an iron and a blow dryer. There are a lot of strongly perfumed things all over the place in cabinets and shelves, covered in Hangul, that I think will probably give me a headache if I use them. So, that aside, it’s a nice little space, but actually the biggest place I’ve ever lived in alone.

Then, I decided I ought to look outside during the daytime! (You see, the windows have translucent screens on a second track that can be moved away to see outside)

Turns out it’s yellow and orange and cement and cars out there. There are Korean kids walking all over in coats and scarves, because we live in a suburb clustered around a school area. There are a surprising number of trees, but not the leaf litter that must be expected in a few weeks.

I went to the school and had an orientation with my coordinator, who is such a lovely woman, Jane Park. She walked me through my first day with classes, just four until I’m acclimated, and gave me a thorough schedule for the next week. I met the some other employees in the school (which is called YumKwang CEC, part of APIS, or Asia Pacific International School, all stacked on top of each other), and then the elder who founded YumKwang 45 years ago, Dr. Kim. I’m glad I practiced three Korean phrases, “Good Morning (annyong aseyo),” “Pleased to meet you (mannaso pangapsumnida),” and “Thank you (gamsa hamnida),” because I was able to be more respectful. My being a Christian was an important topic, as well, since this is a Christian school, although I believe he is probably Confucian. He was a very nice man, and our meeting was brief.

Then I had classes. My first class, with 6 kindergarteners, was okay, but half the time a few of them draped themselves across their desks and looked very tired and bored. I found out later they had been on a field trip already that day. We did our lesson, and then I taught them the Hokey-Pokey. I had an hour break, where I met the other teachers in the lounge. They were so nice to me! Everyone introduced themselves and laughed at every single thing I said and gave me 100% of their attention until they had to run off to class. Then I prepared for my next three classes, the first two classes being probably 7-9 year olds, the third being junior high. My younger students wouldn’t shut up, although they did use English pretty well, and the older kids sat there and didn’t say a word even when I asked them! Thank God for the one boy who actually answered all the questions. Getting the hang of the material is probably going to be my biggest challenge, but that won’t even be terribly difficult. I feel pretty confident.

Then I was invited to hang out with some of the other teachers after work ended at 7pm, since it was my coworker Jin’s birthday and she invited several people to her place for dinner. It was very nice and they were really lovely. The other English teachers, Laurie and Alex, who are married, were with us, but Alex was the only man there. The other husbands were all still working for at least the next two hours. The food was amazing, and the children who joined the dinner were so shockingly well-behaved (and adorable)!

Laurie and I walked home from the dinner party, and she explained that we live in a suburb of Seoul, called Wolgye, in a district called Nowon-gu. I’ll have to find that on a map. Our area is very nice, and as teachers we have a pretty sweet deal. The school treats us like gold and our accommodations are pretty snazzy. In other areas, it would be possible for English teachers to be exploited by the school or at the mercy of fate if the school were to close mid-school year. I didn’t need to know that to be grateful for my situation. But it helps. I feel pretty fortunate and blessed to be here, surrounded by these people, with this opportunity not many others get to appreciate.

In San Francisco

11/12/08 11:18am PST

Here I am in the international terminal in SFO. It’s still too early to find out which gate I need to go to for Seoul, and I’m pretty tired (for lack of sleeping last night), so I’m having a bit of anxiety. Besides that, I really want to have more Korean skills, and so instead I am sitting here quietly.

San Francisco is very foggy and beautiful today. I’m excited to see the weather in Korea! It will be nighttime when I get there, and then I’ll wake up in a whole new fantasy land!

Unfortunately, I don’t have an Internet connection right now, unless I want to purchase connectivity from T-mobile…and I’m tired of giving them my money. So this is a Word document. It’s the best thing I have to a journal right now. They made me throw away my toothpaste at the security checkpoint in Phoenix, and even though it isn’t that big of a deal, it rubbed my tired, stressed out body the wrong way. I’ve had a minor chip on my shoulder since then.

It will be nice to get back on the plane so I know for sure I didn’t miss my flight!

11.10.2008

deep breathing

This is my second-to-last night before leaving. Most of my things are packed and organized in a way I approve of, and I am so glad I began packing weeks ago! It gave me plenty of time to dwell on strategies and space limitations, as well as remembering loads of last-minute ideas and rationalizing out certain non-necessities (like hiking boots: too big and heavy!).

Overall, I feel very at peace. It's sad to leave behind people and creatures I love so much, but saying goodbye isn't unfamiliar in most people's lives, certainly not in mine. I'm satisfied that I'll appreciate the appropriate things about my life back home, but I've needed to move on for a long time, to not feel as though I'm resting on my laurels, to keep the spark of excitement and adventure in my life.

And here it is. And I feel calm, content. I let myself freak out early enough that I got the majority of responsibilities taken care of. Now, I can take that deep breath and relax. Actually, first I need to pack a bit more, but it's okay. :)

Thank you to everybody who has been so supportive of me. I think of you all very often, and despite our perpetual geographic limitations, I consider you very dear friends and I am eternally grateful to have you in my life, at least for this part of my journey and yours.

(Anticipate photos of Seoul very soon indeed!)

11.02.2008

getting abroad

Here I am in Tucson, about to work for the second half of the day, having spent some quality time with some lovely people and animals this weekend, and generally relaxing a bit from the stress of the reality I face.

I finally received my work visa number, and that means I'll be hurriedly getting my information to the Korean consulate in LA on Monday in order to get the soonest available telephone interview possible in order to obtain my work visa asap. I'm packing all week and wrapping up loose ends here and there. I doubt I'll be working; it has been advised that I give myself time to finish my business up in the States. I tend to overwork myself, but now is not the time to procrastinate with other things.

I really enjoy spending time with people lately who have more to talk about than just my impending geographical alteration. Those who have interesting things going on in their lives are so peaceful to be around because they aren't pestering me for details that I'd just as soon not think about. The ones who are interested are nice to be around, but I always get that tightness in my chest when I take the macroscope view of what I'm facing...I'd really rather listen to other people.

Besides that, I'm meeting someone for lunch and should absolutely get out of here right now.