thoughts wearing thoughts' hats

In my heart, I had found the perfect new house, far surpassing my expectations and well worth the cost.  I mulled it over briefly but felt so compelled by it that I couldn't stop myself from making a huge investment right away.  I sized up every room, imagined my future life and pictured filling the space with lovely things.

I purchased it, and I was deliriously happy.  I had everything arranged, it was all settled, and nothing could stop me.

One day, before I'd gotten a single personal possession in the door, something I didn't anticipate or prepare for happened.  My house, my perfect new home and my happy future, was ablaze.  It was so far along by the time I realized that it was too late to save anything.  All that was left was a pile of ash and rubble.

Devastation.  Disaster.  My heart was crushed.  I had nowhere to go.  My future happy life was impossible.  Every dream I'd conjured was a waste.

What's done is done.  It was not the only house for me, even though I was ready to settle into its nooks and crannies and find my peace within its sanctuary.  The universe doesn't make mistakes, and the house is gone. I have the choice to rebuild or go shopping again.  First I need to start saving up, and I have been set back tremendously.

Of course, this is how I can cope with heartbreak.  I give it another name.  I picture it as something else, I put a different hat on it, and I can make sense of it.  Because losing the love of someone perfect makes less sense to my heart than watching a tangible happy future burn to the ground.

I'll let this start my healing.