what are words for?

I say I've had some significant personal growth this week, most especially yesterday. It's actually really refreshing to have overcome a major blockage, just a few pieces at a time. This was a good thing.

Then, today was just a really nice day, and I feel pretty good right now. Strange, because I can't think what went differently besides my attitude. Now that I reflect upon my week down here, it occurs to me that this whole week has gone pretty smoothly. Surely, I felt sick but it never got so severe, and my heart has always felt secure and content.

I miss Tucson so much. It's simply so wonderful here. If I were to go anywhere else in the country, or on the planet, I'm sure I will still fond feelings of home for Tucson. The desert here is so much more authentic; there are huge neighborhoods with wild mesquite, palo verde, cactus, ocotillo and creosote, with rabbits and lizards and coyotes skirting quickly across the road as you turn a corner, and nobody tries to fake some palm-studded "oasis" or pine forest or sycamore grove. I should rephrase that: some neighborhoods have purist landscaping. Other people have a convoluted sense of presence that must include grass and evergreen trees and any number of exotics that don't belong and often suffer in this climate.

Aside from the environment of Tucson, I also find myself quite cheerful and content. I don't want to say I'm off-track and not focused on moving forward, but at the present moment I'm comfortable and relaxed. As in, the timer I usually have ticking loudly in my head presently isn't nudging me forward exhausted and guilty. I'm able to enjoy my time watching television or reading, or sitting and writing in my journal and listening to music I've never heard that has been waiting for me. I can go to work and not feel pulled and strained and anxious the whole time I am there.

What happened? Did I just breathe in the right air finally? If I weren't so tired, I would attempt to stay awake and ponder this wonderful sense of peace and security, because I know too well from experience that life can always be different in the morning. I'm pleased to be in this moment.

I have some things to do before bed. This is all for now.