walking on pebbles

is it ridiculous to be almost scared about everything right now? i think there's more anxiety mixed in than anything really fear-related, but wow. as reality gradually kicks in, my stomach ties itself tighter and the prospect of completely changing my life at present is almost too big to imagine.

what i'll be leaving behind, for better or worse, is daunting.

especially this small fellow. our most recent moments these days have been so tender, he is such a sweet and loving boy.
he has been referred to as ethereal, magical, miyazaki-esque, perfect, and wise, by all sorts of people. he is a blessing, that yoshi, because he is pure and unadulterated, undiscriminating with his love, unselfish and aching to share, and because he keeps me young. his spirit is playful and forgiving, and i will miss him so very much while i'm gone.

being on The Trip last winter was excruciating, i thought about him so much, my small companion. i thought about those big brown eyes so full of love. anyhow, i'll miss him. i won't go on about it.

today is an important study day for me and my GRE study materials. i've already made it too big in my mind, i'm going to need to face it for a while so i can tame the beast. it's funny, too, because i've learned the majority of this information, and while the explanations are verbose and often completely out of my league, i understand most of the premises well enough that these major concepts won't knock me around so badly.

anyway, after next saturday, it will be out of my hair. that's a nice thing to look forward to, eh?