that silver lining

Last week, as the weather cooled, I found myself slightly disappointed that summer was ending.  Ordinarily, I am still sweating in stifling 100+ degree weather at this time of year, praying for the end of October.  Yet here I am, wearing longer sleeves and lamenting that I didn't spend more time in the sun.  I think it's partly because I am not psychologically prepared for another freezing winter!

This week, however, I do not feel that sense of melancholy.  I've found that all my projects haven't overwhelmed me, my job, housecleaning, sewing, taekwondo, dancing, GRE studying and preparation, grad school pursuit, these things are all just rewarding.  That was the original reason I wanted to do each of them in the first place.  Not so that I could be anxious and distracted and short-fused, but so that I could feel proud of myself and accomplished.

In a moment of untempered narcissism, I will also mention that I am happily losing weight and feeling very confident.  Weight issues affect millions, if not billions, of people's lives, and mine has been no exception.  I am proud to say that in two years I've lost 57 pounds!  I'm in a completely different frame of mind than I was the last time I was anywhere near that slim figure I'm now working for.  I was so depressed and self-destructive, insecure and ignorant, I could not appreciate anything about myself.  Now, on the other hand, I know what I love about myself.  I know that I am lovable.  I do not cringe at my reflection.  I have changed.  I have grown.  I have improved.

And my lunch break is over.