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Remember how my neighbors annoy the hell out of me with their noisy, inconsiderate ways? This morning, just now, at 6:30, they woke me up with their yelling, which is obviously unnecessary and so rude. I've put up with them banging around for hours for days and for months, feeling trapped in a torture chamber where I can't get any sleep.
I had previously asked the head teacher to type up a memo in Korean that asks them most politely to be quiet. I have rather an aversion to confrontation, so I figured this gave me a much longer rope with which to tolerate the noise.
I had also asked the head teacher to print out a list of my symptoms for the pibukwa, or dermatologist, so that I could get the eczema on my hand treated (several weeks ago). In my mess of an apartment, I just happened to keep these two memos together.
This morning, being woken up for the umpteenth time, I decided I'd had enough. I marched into the living room, grabbed the memo, and squinted in the dark to make sure I had it. Then I went upstairs and knocked on their door. The whole family was leaving for the day, and they were all in the doorway, and I handed the memo over.
Being exhausted and just woken, it took me a few minutes to understand their behavior. They read the paper again and again, under their breath, and looked back at me. The man pointed to his feet, and I said, "Yes, the stomping and the yelling!" And they looked back at the paper, confused...
Then, the lady picked up a cream from the counter and handed the memo back to me with this tube of cream. THEN it hit me. I had to laugh at myself and then apologize to them, making the 'be quiet' gesture with my finger over my mouth, that they understood, then I came back home.
Seriously, of all the things to mistake. Now I really don't want to confront them again over the noise levels, but maybe they'll be more quiet. If anything, it's impossible not to laugh at myself, and their poor confused faces, handing the memo to one another and re-reading it slowly...This weird foreigner shows up inexplicably at 6:30 in the morning and hands them a paper describing her eczema symptoms!
I'm going back to sleep.
3.15.2009
3.01.2009
recovery room
It should be said that I do tend to grow weary of being in the same place for too long. To further support this, I feel my body tensing up, my sleep patterns become irregular, jealousy for those with more freedom becomes acute, and the urge to complain is ever present.
This weekend my friend Briana and I left the bustling, condensed metropolis of Seoul for a calmer, slower pace with more fresh air. We took the subway south to Anyang, which I read an article about in an English magazine.
Upon our arrival, we immediately scanned the area searching for differences between this place and the place we'd just escaped. Sadly, there were few. Among them, far less traffic, which was nice, especially for a Saturday morning when it seems everybody has endless time and resources for joyriding. We meandered down some roads with a vague intention to eat lunch and a pressing need to find a restroom (or more likely, an available hole in the floor that flushes).
We found ourselves at a nice little traditional-style restaurant where you take off your shoes in the doorway and tuck them into a cubby so you can sit down on the heated (ondol) floor at a low table. It's totally commonplace. At first, we sat down near these two guys smoking and drinking soju (before noon), and I chose to move because I really don't need to smell or smell like burnt tobacco. It turns out that this gave me a great seat for the upcoming theatrics.
They were probably both completely slammed, but one guy was belligerent and extremely loud, bellowing at the ajumma (waitress restaurant owner lady). She wasn't scared of him, even when he got up and yelled in her face! She just called someone on her phone, and another guy showed up to help solve the problem diplomatically. To no avail. This drunk man was feeling really bold and got up and took another soju bottle out of the fridge (not something patrons are supposed to do) and sat down. The recently-arrived diplomat quietly went over and removed it from their table. Then some words were exchanged, some more bellowing ensued, and eventually these two guys were thrown out. The quieter of the two paid for their meal while the obnoxious one shoved and barked and was led outside.
Outside of the restaurant, the diplomat still tried to remain quiet and calm, but used a little more physical restraint with this guy. It took some time, but he and his buddy finally left.
About ten minutes later, they came back. By this time, our exciting lunch had come to an end and we were paying our bill. Of course, being two strong-minded, loud white women in a restaurant with a drunken bastard hassling some kind, mild-mannered restauranteurs, we were not about to let things get really out of hand without stepping in. Briana has a short fuse attached to a very big, unwieldy bomb, but I have been known to channel outrage into rather efficient responses. We decided we were part of Team Oh-Hell-No (O.H.N. for short) and weren't going to stand by and watch this injustice. So here come the drunks, unconvinced that they were no longer welcome and that they were too inebriated to be served.
Our belligerent fellow is met by the diplomat once more, who attempts to wrangle him into some kind of submission, but in a really passive, half-hearted way. What's the matter with these people? Punch him in the stomach and call the cops!! At some point, this guy walks to the side of the restaurant and SLAMS his face into a vending machine. Briana is horrified and begins screaming, "Psycho! Oh my God he's PSYCHO! PSYCHO!" which was echoed by other patrons familiar with the word. I put my shoes on and we both took our rings off (figuratively) because we were ready to defend this place. We stood in the doorway (two glass doors) and watched this guy now surrounded by several useless pacifists. He tried to come into the restaurant through the door I was now blocking, and opened it in toward me. I simply pushed my fingers into his chest and backed him out the door and then closed it on his face. He struggled to open the doors again, but Briana and I held true!
Oh, and we took photos of this incident, because we were on a vacation and care little about the "loss of face" taboo in conservative Korean culture. Especially for a raging drunk.
Then we found our way over to Anyang Art Park, which was my main destination. There was a deafening over-the-hill Korean traditional pop concert attracting hundreds of elderly hikers that seemed to be an all-day event. We could hear it from every corner of the park, which was rather sizable. The art itself was really cool, made by artists international, and completely interactive. I was a bit surprised to see parents leading their youngsters through the explicit content part of the park with nude statues and erotic poses. Maybe, though, these kids think little of the indecency of a woman's naked breasts.
Oh, and the big building on the hill that said, "Resorts and Youth Hostel," was not that at all. In fact, there was no hostel and there were no rooms available for just two people, only three. I mentioned they should change their sign. We asked where else we might find lodging, and the hotel clerk said, "The..Moon Motel, or...others..." So, those were our options. Sounds like BS, right?
We went over to the Moon Motel, which we could see on an opposite hill, and quickly discovered its true source of business. Why put a love motel in an art park? Couples stinking of soju stumbled in at 2:30pm and clearly weren't going to bed for the night. We could reserve a room, but couldn't get in until 10pm. I hid my luggage behind the motel behind a trellis because I was plum tired of carrying all that cargo around with me.
The day lasted a long time, it seemed. The Anyangcheon (Anyang Stream) flowed through the middle of this park, and since the water was rather low, lots of cool things were exposed like broad granite stones, perfect for playing on. We joined some little kids who had an elaborate mission to collect all the trash, sticks, and leaves out of the water and sort it into piles on the rocks. It might have been briefly satisfying to kick their piles back into the water, but we merely laughed at the prospect and left them to their game. The sun had found itself at a very golden position in the sky, so the water and the children seemed rather ethereal.
Mostly by chance, Briana and I found ourselves at nice big restaurant that served shabu-shabu. Though I've heard of it many times in the States, I've only ever had it twice, both times here in Korea. This dinner was so exceptionally tasty that we ordered an additional half-serving (just for one person, not two). We were also trying to kill time until we could claim our room at the love motel. After some beer, soju, juice, "cider" (which is totally lemon-lime soda), and so much delicious food, we stood up from the floor, stretched our aching legs and bellies, and considered our fatigue just long enough to decide it was time to retire. We braced ourselves for the inevitably sexy room, and were pleased to discover that it was just clean, pretty, and actually very large.
There was a couch, ottoman, coffee table, and vanity partitioned on one half of the room, while the bed, plasma television, computer, and surround-sound speakers were on the other. There were fancy wrought-iron faux windows and the bathroom was awesome. They had lotions, large bottles of shampoo and conditioner, shaving gel, a water cooler, coffee mix, candies (Briana ate all of 'em), and even brushes available. We watched really old episodes of "The Simpsons" and flipped back occasionally to a tacky, overly-dramatic amateur soft-core porn movie on another channel. It was just like all the awful Korean soap operas except with bad lighting and sound, no music whatsoever, and a lot of bare breasts and asses. And tragically misinformed actors who DON'T have a CLUE how to please a woman. Yes, please, pull up my bra, gnaw on one nipple, and do me against the minivan in the parking garage. Lame.
The next day we decided we'd seen all we could in Anyang and took the train even further south to Suwon, and there we visited a cool temporary palace for the king that was built at the end of the 18th century.
It was peaceful, interesting, and inspiring. I thought back to a time of relying on ambient outdoor temperatures to be comfortable, hearing nothing but birds chirping and wind and the occasional conversation or laughter within the palace. When there were trees everywhere, and people got around likely by wagon, walking, or beasts of burden. Briana and I ate at a restaurant directly across the street, after resting and chatting on the giant peace bell structure next-door.
We gradually made our way back to Seoul proper, since it was a bit unappealing to go back to all that we'd left. The train ride back was fun because there was an elderly couple playing with each other, running back and forth on the train, snagging the warm seats left behind by exiting passengers. Their grins were so wide and genuine it was impossible not to smile and giggle with them and their other companions.
I went home with Briana and met her little rescue dog (whose leg was broken by her weekend babysitter while we were gone!), and helped her get the crate back into her apartment from her friend's upstairs, and showed her how to give the little dog syringed pain medication. After a cab ride home, I was finished with my weekend!
And ready to start a frightening new week?
The week has gone extremely quickly but it threatens to leave no survivors. I've written too much to describe it in any detail, so I'll just say I'm wiped. I need to rest but first I need to catch up to everything I need to finish. When will that happen? I haven't felt on top of things since January. Strength, Lord, please give me STRENGTH.
This weekend my friend Briana and I left the bustling, condensed metropolis of Seoul for a calmer, slower pace with more fresh air. We took the subway south to Anyang, which I read an article about in an English magazine.
Upon our arrival, we immediately scanned the area searching for differences between this place and the place we'd just escaped. Sadly, there were few. Among them, far less traffic, which was nice, especially for a Saturday morning when it seems everybody has endless time and resources for joyriding. We meandered down some roads with a vague intention to eat lunch and a pressing need to find a restroom (or more likely, an available hole in the floor that flushes).
We found ourselves at a nice little traditional-style restaurant where you take off your shoes in the doorway and tuck them into a cubby so you can sit down on the heated (ondol) floor at a low table. It's totally commonplace. At first, we sat down near these two guys smoking and drinking soju (before noon), and I chose to move because I really don't need to smell or smell like burnt tobacco. It turns out that this gave me a great seat for the upcoming theatrics.
They were probably both completely slammed, but one guy was belligerent and extremely loud, bellowing at the ajumma (waitress restaurant owner lady). She wasn't scared of him, even when he got up and yelled in her face! She just called someone on her phone, and another guy showed up to help solve the problem diplomatically. To no avail. This drunk man was feeling really bold and got up and took another soju bottle out of the fridge (not something patrons are supposed to do) and sat down. The recently-arrived diplomat quietly went over and removed it from their table. Then some words were exchanged, some more bellowing ensued, and eventually these two guys were thrown out. The quieter of the two paid for their meal while the obnoxious one shoved and barked and was led outside.
Outside of the restaurant, the diplomat still tried to remain quiet and calm, but used a little more physical restraint with this guy. It took some time, but he and his buddy finally left.
About ten minutes later, they came back. By this time, our exciting lunch had come to an end and we were paying our bill. Of course, being two strong-minded, loud white women in a restaurant with a drunken bastard hassling some kind, mild-mannered restauranteurs, we were not about to let things get really out of hand without stepping in. Briana has a short fuse attached to a very big, unwieldy bomb, but I have been known to channel outrage into rather efficient responses. We decided we were part of Team Oh-Hell-No (O.H.N. for short) and weren't going to stand by and watch this injustice. So here come the drunks, unconvinced that they were no longer welcome and that they were too inebriated to be served.
Our belligerent fellow is met by the diplomat once more, who attempts to wrangle him into some kind of submission, but in a really passive, half-hearted way. What's the matter with these people? Punch him in the stomach and call the cops!! At some point, this guy walks to the side of the restaurant and SLAMS his face into a vending machine. Briana is horrified and begins screaming, "Psycho! Oh my God he's PSYCHO! PSYCHO!" which was echoed by other patrons familiar with the word. I put my shoes on and we both took our rings off (figuratively) because we were ready to defend this place. We stood in the doorway (two glass doors) and watched this guy now surrounded by several useless pacifists. He tried to come into the restaurant through the door I was now blocking, and opened it in toward me. I simply pushed my fingers into his chest and backed him out the door and then closed it on his face. He struggled to open the doors again, but Briana and I held true!
Oh, and we took photos of this incident, because we were on a vacation and care little about the "loss of face" taboo in conservative Korean culture. Especially for a raging drunk.
Then we found our way over to Anyang Art Park, which was my main destination. There was a deafening over-the-hill Korean traditional pop concert attracting hundreds of elderly hikers that seemed to be an all-day event. We could hear it from every corner of the park, which was rather sizable. The art itself was really cool, made by artists international, and completely interactive. I was a bit surprised to see parents leading their youngsters through the explicit content part of the park with nude statues and erotic poses. Maybe, though, these kids think little of the indecency of a woman's naked breasts.
Oh, and the big building on the hill that said, "Resorts and Youth Hostel," was not that at all. In fact, there was no hostel and there were no rooms available for just two people, only three. I mentioned they should change their sign. We asked where else we might find lodging, and the hotel clerk said, "The..Moon Motel, or...others..." So, those were our options. Sounds like BS, right?
We went over to the Moon Motel, which we could see on an opposite hill, and quickly discovered its true source of business. Why put a love motel in an art park? Couples stinking of soju stumbled in at 2:30pm and clearly weren't going to bed for the night. We could reserve a room, but couldn't get in until 10pm. I hid my luggage behind the motel behind a trellis because I was plum tired of carrying all that cargo around with me.
The day lasted a long time, it seemed. The Anyangcheon (Anyang Stream) flowed through the middle of this park, and since the water was rather low, lots of cool things were exposed like broad granite stones, perfect for playing on. We joined some little kids who had an elaborate mission to collect all the trash, sticks, and leaves out of the water and sort it into piles on the rocks. It might have been briefly satisfying to kick their piles back into the water, but we merely laughed at the prospect and left them to their game. The sun had found itself at a very golden position in the sky, so the water and the children seemed rather ethereal.
Mostly by chance, Briana and I found ourselves at nice big restaurant that served shabu-shabu. Though I've heard of it many times in the States, I've only ever had it twice, both times here in Korea. This dinner was so exceptionally tasty that we ordered an additional half-serving (just for one person, not two). We were also trying to kill time until we could claim our room at the love motel. After some beer, soju, juice, "cider" (which is totally lemon-lime soda), and so much delicious food, we stood up from the floor, stretched our aching legs and bellies, and considered our fatigue just long enough to decide it was time to retire. We braced ourselves for the inevitably sexy room, and were pleased to discover that it was just clean, pretty, and actually very large.
There was a couch, ottoman, coffee table, and vanity partitioned on one half of the room, while the bed, plasma television, computer, and surround-sound speakers were on the other. There were fancy wrought-iron faux windows and the bathroom was awesome. They had lotions, large bottles of shampoo and conditioner, shaving gel, a water cooler, coffee mix, candies (Briana ate all of 'em), and even brushes available. We watched really old episodes of "The Simpsons" and flipped back occasionally to a tacky, overly-dramatic amateur soft-core porn movie on another channel. It was just like all the awful Korean soap operas except with bad lighting and sound, no music whatsoever, and a lot of bare breasts and asses. And tragically misinformed actors who DON'T have a CLUE how to please a woman. Yes, please, pull up my bra, gnaw on one nipple, and do me against the minivan in the parking garage. Lame.
The next day we decided we'd seen all we could in Anyang and took the train even further south to Suwon, and there we visited a cool temporary palace for the king that was built at the end of the 18th century.
It was peaceful, interesting, and inspiring. I thought back to a time of relying on ambient outdoor temperatures to be comfortable, hearing nothing but birds chirping and wind and the occasional conversation or laughter within the palace. When there were trees everywhere, and people got around likely by wagon, walking, or beasts of burden. Briana and I ate at a restaurant directly across the street, after resting and chatting on the giant peace bell structure next-door.
We gradually made our way back to Seoul proper, since it was a bit unappealing to go back to all that we'd left. The train ride back was fun because there was an elderly couple playing with each other, running back and forth on the train, snagging the warm seats left behind by exiting passengers. Their grins were so wide and genuine it was impossible not to smile and giggle with them and their other companions.
I went home with Briana and met her little rescue dog (whose leg was broken by her weekend babysitter while we were gone!), and helped her get the crate back into her apartment from her friend's upstairs, and showed her how to give the little dog syringed pain medication. After a cab ride home, I was finished with my weekend!
And ready to start a frightening new week?
The week has gone extremely quickly but it threatens to leave no survivors. I've written too much to describe it in any detail, so I'll just say I'm wiped. I need to rest but first I need to catch up to everything I need to finish. When will that happen? I haven't felt on top of things since January. Strength, Lord, please give me STRENGTH.
2.15.2009
no more tiny violin
Wherever I go, Life follows me. I have been neglecting loving myself, and so I was recently inspired to remember where my love is and put it to good use.
On Valentine's Day, I'd like to say I began (but did not fully execute) that philosophy again. After a rigorous belly dancing class and a small lunch with some new pals, I had a successful language exchange session and then met up with my girlfriends for dinner at the creatively-named "Foreign Restaurant" that serves Indian and Arabian food. I had matsu puuri, which was wonderful, and one of our friends bought dinner for everybody!
We went down to Hongdae again, where many foreigners and Koreans flock to drink and dance, and that's exactly what we did. It was inadvertently the arrival to a Singles' Party hosted by the bar, but really I don't think that meant anything because the atmosphere seemed virtually unchanged since we were there on New Year's Eve.
I drank quite a bit, and danced to my heart's content all night, sometimes with a
friend, sometimes with a stranger. I think one of my girlfriends may have been dismayed that I danced with so many strangers, but I was having a grand old time flirting my way around the room. I didn't do anything wrong or disgraceful, except for maybe falling on the floor once...which I choose to think of as "getting down."
Considering there were so many foreigners in the area, this certainly comes with its fair share of anonymous hookups, particularly with military personnel. I was not spared from those invitations, but was actually able, despite my inebriated stupor, to DECLINE! Hooray me! I call that an example of self-love, right there. I'm so proud of me.
I joined some other friends for an after-bar meal at a restaurant upstairs somewhere (I honestly do not remember why or how we ended up there), and then managed to make my way to the subway station with my remaining buddy, Tae-Seung. He made sure I got on the first train, which was awfully good of him. From there, I was conceivably an hour away from my home. The trains start running again at 5:18am, so it wasn't going to be long before I could be at home in bed....
But then at 8:30 I woke up and had NO CLUE where I was! Luckily the train I was on makes a full circle, so after I made a bewildered round of the subway station I got back on the train and proceeded to FALL ASLEEP AGAIN! Sometimes there were lots of people on the train, sometimes very few, but every time I woke up there they were staring at me. I certainly could have hooted, "Whoo! America! Obama!" and then passed back out, that would've probably satisfied their suspicions.
By the grace of God, I woke up seconds before my intended stop, and wandered out through the station to buy some gimbap for breakfast and out into the harsh 9:30 overcast daylight. I spent Sunday in and out of bed, which was actually really nice. I made some tasty healthy food, and enjoyed my quiet time.
This may not sound like the healthiest recommencement of loving myself, but I can most definitely see dramatic progress deep down. Plus, I went out and danced like it was my job. That would be a good job.
On Valentine's Day, I'd like to say I began (but did not fully execute) that philosophy again. After a rigorous belly dancing class and a small lunch with some new pals, I had a successful language exchange session and then met up with my girlfriends for dinner at the creatively-named "Foreign Restaurant" that serves Indian and Arabian food. I had matsu puuri, which was wonderful, and one of our friends bought dinner for everybody!
We went down to Hongdae again, where many foreigners and Koreans flock to drink and dance, and that's exactly what we did. It was inadvertently the arrival to a Singles' Party hosted by the bar, but really I don't think that meant anything because the atmosphere seemed virtually unchanged since we were there on New Year's Eve.
I drank quite a bit, and danced to my heart's content all night, sometimes with a
friend, sometimes with a stranger. I think one of my girlfriends may have been dismayed that I danced with so many strangers, but I was having a grand old time flirting my way around the room. I didn't do anything wrong or disgraceful, except for maybe falling on the floor once...which I choose to think of as "getting down."Considering there were so many foreigners in the area, this certainly comes with its fair share of anonymous hookups, particularly with military personnel. I was not spared from those invitations, but was actually able, despite my inebriated stupor, to DECLINE! Hooray me! I call that an example of self-love, right there. I'm so proud of me.
I joined some other friends for an after-bar meal at a restaurant upstairs somewhere (I honestly do not remember why or how we ended up there), and then managed to make my way to the subway station with my remaining buddy, Tae-Seung. He made sure I got on the first train, which was awfully good of him. From there, I was conceivably an hour away from my home. The trains start running again at 5:18am, so it wasn't going to be long before I could be at home in bed....
But then at 8:30 I woke up and had NO CLUE where I was! Luckily the train I was on makes a full circle, so after I made a bewildered round of the subway station I got back on the train and proceeded to FALL ASLEEP AGAIN! Sometimes there were lots of people on the train, sometimes very few, but every time I woke up there they were staring at me. I certainly could have hooted, "Whoo! America! Obama!" and then passed back out, that would've probably satisfied their suspicions.
By the grace of God, I woke up seconds before my intended stop, and wandered out through the station to buy some gimbap for breakfast and out into the harsh 9:30 overcast daylight. I spent Sunday in and out of bed, which was actually really nice. I made some tasty healthy food, and enjoyed my quiet time.
This may not sound like the healthiest recommencement of loving myself, but I can most definitely see dramatic progress deep down. Plus, I went out and danced like it was my job. That would be a good job.
2.12.2009
three weeks and bad news
Man, do I have trust issues! The trouble with making new friends is that I just plum don't trust 'em to like me behind my back. I'm always completely convinced that if I wasn't perfectly entertaining to be around, they'll group up without me and tear me to shreds or psychoanalyze me in a bad way, anything but have compassion and understanding. I have no faith in my friends out here.
It makes me really miss the good friends I have elsewhere, too. Even though I'm sure I've been under the microscope a few times for tactless and crotchety behavior, I haven't been paranoid enough to be convinced that they didn't genuinely like me.
Of course I know I'm cooking up stories in my head. Obviously, because that's what I do. I think I'm actually trying to be lonely and miserable, so I am suspicious of the only two good buddies I've made out here. On the other hand, I've seen the way they are about people if those people make mistakes. I've heard the mercilessness of outsiders who weren't perfect, did something wrong (even downright stupid), and were ostracized most conspicuously afterward. I do not consider myself exempt from this.
Additionally, I've grown up with this. My mother is the premium shit-talker, guys. She trashes anybody and everybody for minor flaws in personality, for being less-than-perfect, for not bowing down and doing her bidding in a way satisfactory to her standards. She has no mercy, and I mean NONE WHATSOEVER. She has slammed my father, my grandmother, my step-dad, her coworkers, my brother, and of course me countless times. You'd think, by the way she talks about everybody, that she hated our guts and she wouldn't waste her time with any of us. And then, just like that, she thinks so highly of everybody, just until they piss her off again. The things she says are so cruel, so contemptuous, I would even cry in my bed at night hoping she didn't really feel that way about me.
I do not want to become this way. I know I'm paranoid about my friends because I'm used to being devalued and defamed by my own fucking mom every chance she got. I know I have a habit of believing the worst about what people may think about me. I know I choose to believe that people do not really like me, that I am not lovable, and that I am going to be alone forever because I cannot fully contribute to a successful, healthy relationship.
I strongly believe in taking responsibility for one's choices in life.
So, at this point, what do I do? Do I recede back from whence I came? Avoid spending time with people who have undoubtedly exchanged a few colorful words about me? Shall I become the miserable recluse I've always dreamed of being? I've invested a LOT of money into a class I take with them and I'm paid through the month, so I'm essentially bound into going. I suppose I'm going to have to choke on this ego thing and chew on the past emotional abuse thing and get over it.
On the brighter side, way over on the other side of the Pacific, I know I have dear, wonderful friends who sincerely love me and appreciate me, even with my flaws. Those are the people who make up my surrogate family, who don't try to recruit each other for the Amanda-Haters Club, who love me for who I am and how I love them. It is a very lonely feeling to be so far from the people who understand me, even though they understand why I am so far away.
I love you guys and I miss you, deeply and desperately.
It makes me really miss the good friends I have elsewhere, too. Even though I'm sure I've been under the microscope a few times for tactless and crotchety behavior, I haven't been paranoid enough to be convinced that they didn't genuinely like me.
Of course I know I'm cooking up stories in my head. Obviously, because that's what I do. I think I'm actually trying to be lonely and miserable, so I am suspicious of the only two good buddies I've made out here. On the other hand, I've seen the way they are about people if those people make mistakes. I've heard the mercilessness of outsiders who weren't perfect, did something wrong (even downright stupid), and were ostracized most conspicuously afterward. I do not consider myself exempt from this.
Additionally, I've grown up with this. My mother is the premium shit-talker, guys. She trashes anybody and everybody for minor flaws in personality, for being less-than-perfect, for not bowing down and doing her bidding in a way satisfactory to her standards. She has no mercy, and I mean NONE WHATSOEVER. She has slammed my father, my grandmother, my step-dad, her coworkers, my brother, and of course me countless times. You'd think, by the way she talks about everybody, that she hated our guts and she wouldn't waste her time with any of us. And then, just like that, she thinks so highly of everybody, just until they piss her off again. The things she says are so cruel, so contemptuous, I would even cry in my bed at night hoping she didn't really feel that way about me.
I do not want to become this way. I know I'm paranoid about my friends because I'm used to being devalued and defamed by my own fucking mom every chance she got. I know I have a habit of believing the worst about what people may think about me. I know I choose to believe that people do not really like me, that I am not lovable, and that I am going to be alone forever because I cannot fully contribute to a successful, healthy relationship.
I strongly believe in taking responsibility for one's choices in life.
So, at this point, what do I do? Do I recede back from whence I came? Avoid spending time with people who have undoubtedly exchanged a few colorful words about me? Shall I become the miserable recluse I've always dreamed of being? I've invested a LOT of money into a class I take with them and I'm paid through the month, so I'm essentially bound into going. I suppose I'm going to have to choke on this ego thing and chew on the past emotional abuse thing and get over it.
On the brighter side, way over on the other side of the Pacific, I know I have dear, wonderful friends who sincerely love me and appreciate me, even with my flaws. Those are the people who make up my surrogate family, who don't try to recruit each other for the Amanda-Haters Club, who love me for who I am and how I love them. It is a very lonely feeling to be so far from the people who understand me, even though they understand why I am so far away.
I love you guys and I miss you, deeply and desperately.
1.21.2009
thoroughly superficial
I am so tired that I cannot report on anything interesting as of late. My life recently has only had elements of moderate interest anyhow, mostly I experience the same scenario day in and day out. Last night, I stayed up very late to watch the Presidential Inauguration live on CNN. It was worth it, but now I am back home from work and very, very fatigued.
It is another very convenient excuse to avoid cleaning the kitchen/bathroom/floors/everywhere else.
Luckily, I do not have a bounty of snack food to munch on sleepily. I like to go to bed early, and not have awful bad dreams.
To be continued? To be certain!
It is another very convenient excuse to avoid cleaning the kitchen/bathroom/floors/everywhere else.
Luckily, I do not have a bounty of snack food to munch on sleepily. I like to go to bed early, and not have awful bad dreams.
To be continued? To be certain!
1.18.2009
Lonely on Sundays
I'm not sure why, but I always feel so sad and lonely every Sunday during and after church. While I'm there, everybody is sweet and loving and pleasant, and we all sit around in fellowship making wholesome small talk, and then we separate into small groups (which so far have been completely aimless; I want to participate in an actual in-depth Bible study group and it's unclear if that will materialize) and talk about tentative plans for small groups.
The idea is that they will get together and share, one by one I suppose, and talk about how God is working in their lives. It's a beautiful premise, and I'm sure everyone will bond over it, but I am absolutely terrified of revealing what I consider to be an extremely painful and rocky past to a group of strangers. Surely, Koreans do not tend to open up about their history beyond the past week or two, so this may be unfounded fear....but I don't want to find myself in a group therapy session where everybody listens to me and pities me and doesn't ever see me the same. This prospect has been so frightening to me that I can literally feel myself closing off from the others. After two months of attendance (nearly every week), I have not gravitated to anybody but the pastor and his family, and this is a true blessing because they live very close to me and I can find some sort of refuge with them.
Otherwise, I've isolated myself so much that I am usually quite surprised to find some of the ladies in our small fellowship being so kind and affectionate with me. The pastor spoke two weeks ago of building walls between ourselves and God, ourselves and a Christian community. Somehow the shame of a mistake- and pain-riddled life has buried me deep, away from the warmth of this group of people.
So I don't feel as though I belong, not here in this church, not back in Phoenix nor in Tucson, not in Seoul or any other place I've already lived or visited. I feel very guilty that I haven't made much of an effort to pursue graduate school options since I've been here, but some obstacles I met early on have been easy excuses to be lazy. I am quite aware that I am taking the all-familiar dip back down, the one where I tell myself how inferior I am and give myself the lousiest options and directions.
Simultaneously, I am smarting daily from a break-up that hasn't even felt real until a few weeks ago. Officially, it was almost a year ago that we decided our relationship was totaled, but somehow we have managed to ride it out many more months. And for as much as I like to be by myself, I find that I am very afraid of being alone.
I probably need to go to sleep.
The idea is that they will get together and share, one by one I suppose, and talk about how God is working in their lives. It's a beautiful premise, and I'm sure everyone will bond over it, but I am absolutely terrified of revealing what I consider to be an extremely painful and rocky past to a group of strangers. Surely, Koreans do not tend to open up about their history beyond the past week or two, so this may be unfounded fear....but I don't want to find myself in a group therapy session where everybody listens to me and pities me and doesn't ever see me the same. This prospect has been so frightening to me that I can literally feel myself closing off from the others. After two months of attendance (nearly every week), I have not gravitated to anybody but the pastor and his family, and this is a true blessing because they live very close to me and I can find some sort of refuge with them.
Otherwise, I've isolated myself so much that I am usually quite surprised to find some of the ladies in our small fellowship being so kind and affectionate with me. The pastor spoke two weeks ago of building walls between ourselves and God, ourselves and a Christian community. Somehow the shame of a mistake- and pain-riddled life has buried me deep, away from the warmth of this group of people.
So I don't feel as though I belong, not here in this church, not back in Phoenix nor in Tucson, not in Seoul or any other place I've already lived or visited. I feel very guilty that I haven't made much of an effort to pursue graduate school options since I've been here, but some obstacles I met early on have been easy excuses to be lazy. I am quite aware that I am taking the all-familiar dip back down, the one where I tell myself how inferior I am and give myself the lousiest options and directions.
Simultaneously, I am smarting daily from a break-up that hasn't even felt real until a few weeks ago. Officially, it was almost a year ago that we decided our relationship was totaled, but somehow we have managed to ride it out many more months. And for as much as I like to be by myself, I find that I am very afraid of being alone.
I probably need to go to sleep.
1.04.2009
Winter Vacation
This is going to be a long entry, because I have not written here in about three weeks and this past week was actually very exciting. It was my week-long vacation, and I had so much fun!
I promise to put photographs in, but I cannot promise when.
Vacation began last Saturday, when I lolled around my apartment eating soup and watching television. My friend Briana invited me to go for a walk, which I inferred to be more of a stroll, less of an epic journey. I set out for the subway station and promptly fell on the stairs, spraining my ankle! We met up and I pouted about my new injury, and then we met Katie for dinner, and then went for ice cream. Then Briana and I set out for the Cheonggyecheon River walk with a lovely Christmas lights display; it was a very, very long walk.
Something like 3 or 4km, it took us over two hours, and it was so cold! We made it to the end, just next to City Hall, and stood around and watched the pretty lights and enjoyed the bouncy music blasted over many speakers. 
Obviously if there is music good enough to dance to, I'm going to dance, and while I was doing that two Korean young men came over and asked me in English if I would take a picture with them! I guess I was a spectacle worth remembering...
We went into the closest subway station and were immediately caught by the large floor display of cheap bootlegged DVDs! So after choosing 6 movies for 10,000 won, we both ran to catch our respective trains (it was nearly closing time for the transit system!). I just barely made it home, and then watched "Sex and the City" and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I should mention that my ankle at that point was so swollen I was hobbling around my apartment. I expected to be worse the next morning, so I emailed my pastor that I would miss church. The next day was better, but just enough to walk. I slept late and was invited to see "Yes Man" with my buddies, so we went to Misamgeori to catch an evening showing. We did some shopping and had a late lunch, then dinner afterward at a cute sushi place (I had a plate of nigiri for less than $4!). Katie and I made plans to do tourist stuff during the week. I went home and watched a bootlegged "Hancock".
Monday, true to form, I had a slow start. Not only is it below freezing permanently, but I am always picturing the complicated journey to the place I have to be, involving multiple transfers from bus to subway to bus. Eventually I made it to Itaewon to meet my friend Katie, and then we went shopping (yes, everybody shops here all the time!), specifically for comfy warm boots and pants that fit my shrinking physique. Losing weight can be so expensive! We met with Katie's friend Jessica, who is really hilarious and fun, and had coffee and then dinner at Subway...after all, we were in the foreigner district and that was likely the cheapest food available. We all went home afterward and I attempted to sleep so I could get up early for our fish market adventure.
Oh, during the night, I simply could not sleep. It was so frustrating, laying there listening to the deafening sound of my heartbeat. By 4:30 in the morning, I was tired enough to sleep, and forced myself to wake up a couple hours later so Katie and I could be across town as soon as possible.
The Noryangjin fish market was a huge underground market of sea creatures, dead or dying, displayed wholesale for those who prefer freshness and variety.
We took a lot of photographs and then bought some really inexpensive, good-looking yellowtail (hamachi) sashimi to eat later. Then we went for lunch at a Korean interpretation of Vietnamese food, because I was dying for some pho...this was good but it didn't come off as authentic. Katie had pho ga for the first time and loved it.
Then we went to the Han River to ride a ferry up and down the river. Our boat turned out to be a pirate ship, and our captain a pirate! We had a brief tour of the buildings on either side of the river and a blip or two of history about bridges and islands along the river, and then it was back into the freezing wind toward Katie's house. We took a lovely nap in her apartment, and then I prepared our fish for dinner....which basically means I took it out and poured vinegar on the rice and mixed soy and wasabi, and we ate it. Simple enough. We met Katie's taekwondo instructor for pre-New Year's drinks (even though I was too full and after several shots of soju was sick-full). And that was Tuesday.
Wednesday, a.k.a. New Year's Eve, was spent in and out of the bathroom. I watched television, sat around in my pajamas with dirty hair, and eventually made myself something to eat. I love days off. I did manage to drag myself into a shower, and then got ready for an exciting night on the town. A group of us were planning to meet in the subway station near this party that was being hosted by a new English radio station, where they touted free beer, an iPod giveaway, and other stuff. Well, I was late! It's across town, obviously I'm going to be late. Thankfully, all the ladies were waiting at the station, apparently for me, even though I was only ten minutes after the last arrivee. The venue was this Korean traditional mock-village that holds lots of free performances for passersby. We entered and were ushered downstairs to a concert!? It turned out to be a free show with a spade of local musicians (Korean and foreign), some very good, others not so much. There were a pair of moderators who came out periodically and stood in a spotlight with poorly disguised sarcasm about the performances! It was hilarious! We considered leaving when we first realized this was not what we'd expected, but it turned out to be a very entertaining event, and we wanted beer and iPods.
After the show, iPodless, with party cups of draught beer and plates of snacks, we stood around the lobby trying to figure out when we would herd to our next destination. I noticed twice that someone was standing nearby us quietly and alone. On New Year's Eve, I just couldn't let that slide, so I marched right over to him and struck up some holiday cheer. He turned out to be a sweetheart with no plans, so I recruited him to our bunch and we all set out for a club in Honggae.
The club, called Jane's Groove, was packed with foreigners and Koreans, and felt like any other club I've been to, except they still smoke indoors here (blech). Closer to midnight a band came out and played some songs, a few great ones and a few okay ones. I quite enjoyed the dancing, the cocktails, and the cheerful company. Afterwards we went for some late-night Korean food, and I had my favorite new soup, naengmyeon. Then Briana and Katie and I took a $15 cab ride back to Briana's apartment, and Katie and I got to snuggle on the floor. :)
The next day, after sleeping in a significantly long time, and looking and laughing at photos from the night before, a knock came on Briana's door...it turned out to be her coworker, whom we had lost track of in the midst of the festivities. She had made a series of very bad decisions, and was now without a purse, phone, housekeys, or a coat. Remember it is winter, 24 degrees outside, and that's during the daytime. We sat, suddenly somber, and listened to her recount her wild escapades as she lay on the floor coughing and gagging. Rough. Briana got their landlord to spare another set of keys, and then it was just the three of us again.
We took a bus to Itaewon and waited for an hour for an American-style brunch, which turned out to be my gut's worst nightmare. Note to self: the veggie omelette is not always a good idea. After spending nearly 3 hours there, we met Jessica and went to Myeong-dong for bowling. Boy did my stomach hurt. It hurt so badly I couldn't enjoy beating everybody at bowling, both games. It hurt so badly I felt like leaving and going home to lay down, but decided to try to wait it out. We walked around Myeong-dong, where shopping is extreme and acute. The other three decided to have dinner, but I really couldn't think of eating anything, so I watched and tried to stay amicable in the conversation.
Finally, after dinner, I felt less stabbing belly pain, and we walked around some more around the shops and flashing neon lights and thousands of people, and then I went home.
Friday, I woke up to a phone call from my pastor's wife inviting me to lunch at her house. She and my pastor are Indians from South Africa, and she was making Indian curry vegetables, among other things. I walked over to their house and ended up staying for 7 hours! A couple other girls were over, one from India, and our conversation was lovely and the food was marvelous. We stuck out an entire Bollywood movie and then I went home. I found my New Year's Eve friend online and had a nice long chat with him.
Saturday, Briana and I agreed to go somewhere neither of us have been and explore (my favorite!). We took the train to the World Cup Stadium and walked around. There was a pretty park that had a small, tree-covered mountain with a hiking trail. We climbed to the top and remarked at various things, including an amazing view of Seoul through a parting in the trees. I saw lots of birds that yelled at us, which made me happy. Back down at the entrance of the park was a small pond with a little wooden pagoda (or whatever they call 'em) overlooking the massive stadium. The pond was covered in ice, and this somehow attracted a dozen children of different ages to venture onto the ice and then make every possible attempt to break through it. Clearly, it was risky, but it was also obviously fun and thrilling, so they continued doing it while Briana and I stood by taking photographs and hoping someone would successfully fall in. No dice, or at least I didn't have time to stick around and wait.
Afterwards I met with Wook, a friend I know through Toby, and his new wife, Christine. They took me to Seoul Tower, or Namsan Tower, where we enjoyed conversation and standing in umpteen different lines. We took a cable car up to the mountain, walked around, visited the teddy bear museum and watched a bunch of idiots crowd around and stare at a circle of laser lights projected from higher above them. Then we strolled around the roof terrace with locks of all shapes and sizes with messages written on them attached to the chainlink fence surrounding the terrace. Apparently, the tradition is to write your blurb, seal it on the fence, and hurl the keys off from the roof into the oblivion, and stand there with your lover/friend/family member and think whistfully of how your lock will be there forever.
Then we spent a little too much money to go up to the tower itself and walk around the top a few times. I bought some fun things in the gift shop, including a key ring.
Afterwards, they took me to a restaurant in Myeong-dong that has been around for 50 years or more, which is some feat here, that is famous for its noodle dishes. I had some really spicy noodles with julienned zucchini and even spicier kimchi (the hottest I've ever had, actually). After dinner, we agreed it was quitting time. My back and feet ached so much, I was actually relieved to get to head home and find a seat on the subway.
Today was church, a meeting with a potential tutee, and dinner with Briana. I had to take notes on my week to remember everything that happened! I had been hoping to use this week to become more familiar with Seoul, and I can definitely say I feel more at home here after having seen the whole thing at once and being able to point out several different areas I've been and did fun stuff. I'm also so grateful to have spent this week being extremely social, wallowing around in bed until whenever I pleased, and watching movies I'd hoped I would get to see. I can't forget to mention how wonderful Korean food is!
And considering I did not exercise officially, I can say I definitely burned a lot of calories getting around. I'm so pleased that I did just what I set out to do with my vacation.
Back to work...
I promise to put photographs in, but I cannot promise when.
Vacation began last Saturday, when I lolled around my apartment eating soup and watching television. My friend Briana invited me to go for a walk, which I inferred to be more of a stroll, less of an epic journey. I set out for the subway station and promptly fell on the stairs, spraining my ankle! We met up and I pouted about my new injury, and then we met Katie for dinner, and then went for ice cream. Then Briana and I set out for the Cheonggyecheon River walk with a lovely Christmas lights display; it was a very, very long walk.
Something like 3 or 4km, it took us over two hours, and it was so cold! We made it to the end, just next to City Hall, and stood around and watched the pretty lights and enjoyed the bouncy music blasted over many speakers. 
Obviously if there is music good enough to dance to, I'm going to dance, and while I was doing that two Korean young men came over and asked me in English if I would take a picture with them! I guess I was a spectacle worth remembering...We went into the closest subway station and were immediately caught by the large floor display of cheap bootlegged DVDs! So after choosing 6 movies for 10,000 won, we both ran to catch our respective trains (it was nearly closing time for the transit system!). I just barely made it home, and then watched "Sex and the City" and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I should mention that my ankle at that point was so swollen I was hobbling around my apartment. I expected to be worse the next morning, so I emailed my pastor that I would miss church. The next day was better, but just enough to walk. I slept late and was invited to see "Yes Man" with my buddies, so we went to Misamgeori to catch an evening showing. We did some shopping and had a late lunch, then dinner afterward at a cute sushi place (I had a plate of nigiri for less than $4!). Katie and I made plans to do tourist stuff during the week. I went home and watched a bootlegged "Hancock".
Monday, true to form, I had a slow start. Not only is it below freezing permanently, but I am always picturing the complicated journey to the place I have to be, involving multiple transfers from bus to subway to bus. Eventually I made it to Itaewon to meet my friend Katie, and then we went shopping (yes, everybody shops here all the time!), specifically for comfy warm boots and pants that fit my shrinking physique. Losing weight can be so expensive! We met with Katie's friend Jessica, who is really hilarious and fun, and had coffee and then dinner at Subway...after all, we were in the foreigner district and that was likely the cheapest food available. We all went home afterward and I attempted to sleep so I could get up early for our fish market adventure.
Oh, during the night, I simply could not sleep. It was so frustrating, laying there listening to the deafening sound of my heartbeat. By 4:30 in the morning, I was tired enough to sleep, and forced myself to wake up a couple hours later so Katie and I could be across town as soon as possible.
The Noryangjin fish market was a huge underground market of sea creatures, dead or dying, displayed wholesale for those who prefer freshness and variety.
We took a lot of photographs and then bought some really inexpensive, good-looking yellowtail (hamachi) sashimi to eat later. Then we went for lunch at a Korean interpretation of Vietnamese food, because I was dying for some pho...this was good but it didn't come off as authentic. Katie had pho ga for the first time and loved it.
Then we went to the Han River to ride a ferry up and down the river. Our boat turned out to be a pirate ship, and our captain a pirate! We had a brief tour of the buildings on either side of the river and a blip or two of history about bridges and islands along the river, and then it was back into the freezing wind toward Katie's house. We took a lovely nap in her apartment, and then I prepared our fish for dinner....which basically means I took it out and poured vinegar on the rice and mixed soy and wasabi, and we ate it. Simple enough. We met Katie's taekwondo instructor for pre-New Year's drinks (even though I was too full and after several shots of soju was sick-full). And that was Tuesday.
Wednesday, a.k.a. New Year's Eve, was spent in and out of the bathroom. I watched television, sat around in my pajamas with dirty hair, and eventually made myself something to eat. I love days off. I did manage to drag myself into a shower, and then got ready for an exciting night on the town. A group of us were planning to meet in the subway station near this party that was being hosted by a new English radio station, where they touted free beer, an iPod giveaway, and other stuff. Well, I was late! It's across town, obviously I'm going to be late. Thankfully, all the ladies were waiting at the station, apparently for me, even though I was only ten minutes after the last arrivee. The venue was this Korean traditional mock-village that holds lots of free performances for passersby. We entered and were ushered downstairs to a concert!? It turned out to be a free show with a spade of local musicians (Korean and foreign), some very good, others not so much. There were a pair of moderators who came out periodically and stood in a spotlight with poorly disguised sarcasm about the performances! It was hilarious! We considered leaving when we first realized this was not what we'd expected, but it turned out to be a very entertaining event, and we wanted beer and iPods.
After the show, iPodless, with party cups of draught beer and plates of snacks, we stood around the lobby trying to figure out when we would herd to our next destination. I noticed twice that someone was standing nearby us quietly and alone. On New Year's Eve, I just couldn't let that slide, so I marched right over to him and struck up some holiday cheer. He turned out to be a sweetheart with no plans, so I recruited him to our bunch and we all set out for a club in Honggae.
The club, called Jane's Groove, was packed with foreigners and Koreans, and felt like any other club I've been to, except they still smoke indoors here (blech). Closer to midnight a band came out and played some songs, a few great ones and a few okay ones. I quite enjoyed the dancing, the cocktails, and the cheerful company. Afterwards we went for some late-night Korean food, and I had my favorite new soup, naengmyeon. Then Briana and Katie and I took a $15 cab ride back to Briana's apartment, and Katie and I got to snuggle on the floor. :)
The next day, after sleeping in a significantly long time, and looking and laughing at photos from the night before, a knock came on Briana's door...it turned out to be her coworker, whom we had lost track of in the midst of the festivities. She had made a series of very bad decisions, and was now without a purse, phone, housekeys, or a coat. Remember it is winter, 24 degrees outside, and that's during the daytime. We sat, suddenly somber, and listened to her recount her wild escapades as she lay on the floor coughing and gagging. Rough. Briana got their landlord to spare another set of keys, and then it was just the three of us again.
We took a bus to Itaewon and waited for an hour for an American-style brunch, which turned out to be my gut's worst nightmare. Note to self: the veggie omelette is not always a good idea. After spending nearly 3 hours there, we met Jessica and went to Myeong-dong for bowling. Boy did my stomach hurt. It hurt so badly I couldn't enjoy beating everybody at bowling, both games. It hurt so badly I felt like leaving and going home to lay down, but decided to try to wait it out. We walked around Myeong-dong, where shopping is extreme and acute. The other three decided to have dinner, but I really couldn't think of eating anything, so I watched and tried to stay amicable in the conversation.
Finally, after dinner, I felt less stabbing belly pain, and we walked around some more around the shops and flashing neon lights and thousands of people, and then I went home.
Friday, I woke up to a phone call from my pastor's wife inviting me to lunch at her house. She and my pastor are Indians from South Africa, and she was making Indian curry vegetables, among other things. I walked over to their house and ended up staying for 7 hours! A couple other girls were over, one from India, and our conversation was lovely and the food was marvelous. We stuck out an entire Bollywood movie and then I went home. I found my New Year's Eve friend online and had a nice long chat with him.
Saturday, Briana and I agreed to go somewhere neither of us have been and explore (my favorite!). We took the train to the World Cup Stadium and walked around. There was a pretty park that had a small, tree-covered mountain with a hiking trail. We climbed to the top and remarked at various things, including an amazing view of Seoul through a parting in the trees. I saw lots of birds that yelled at us, which made me happy. Back down at the entrance of the park was a small pond with a little wooden pagoda (or whatever they call 'em) overlooking the massive stadium. The pond was covered in ice, and this somehow attracted a dozen children of different ages to venture onto the ice and then make every possible attempt to break through it. Clearly, it was risky, but it was also obviously fun and thrilling, so they continued doing it while Briana and I stood by taking photographs and hoping someone would successfully fall in. No dice, or at least I didn't have time to stick around and wait.
Afterwards I met with Wook, a friend I know through Toby, and his new wife, Christine. They took me to Seoul Tower, or Namsan Tower, where we enjoyed conversation and standing in umpteen different lines. We took a cable car up to the mountain, walked around, visited the teddy bear museum and watched a bunch of idiots crowd around and stare at a circle of laser lights projected from higher above them. Then we strolled around the roof terrace with locks of all shapes and sizes with messages written on them attached to the chainlink fence surrounding the terrace. Apparently, the tradition is to write your blurb, seal it on the fence, and hurl the keys off from the roof into the oblivion, and stand there with your lover/friend/family member and think whistfully of how your lock will be there forever.
Then we spent a little too much money to go up to the tower itself and walk around the top a few times. I bought some fun things in the gift shop, including a key ring.
Afterwards, they took me to a restaurant in Myeong-dong that has been around for 50 years or more, which is some feat here, that is famous for its noodle dishes. I had some really spicy noodles with julienned zucchini and even spicier kimchi (the hottest I've ever had, actually). After dinner, we agreed it was quitting time. My back and feet ached so much, I was actually relieved to get to head home and find a seat on the subway.
Today was church, a meeting with a potential tutee, and dinner with Briana. I had to take notes on my week to remember everything that happened! I had been hoping to use this week to become more familiar with Seoul, and I can definitely say I feel more at home here after having seen the whole thing at once and being able to point out several different areas I've been and did fun stuff. I'm also so grateful to have spent this week being extremely social, wallowing around in bed until whenever I pleased, and watching movies I'd hoped I would get to see. I can't forget to mention how wonderful Korean food is!
And considering I did not exercise officially, I can say I definitely burned a lot of calories getting around. I'm so pleased that I did just what I set out to do with my vacation.
Back to work...
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