aflutter

One month.  A whole moth, and everything has continued to get better.  My whole physical self is charged with the sensation of love.

The fears I have about being deliberately let down...the panic I feel when a scheduled call or visit goes past due...are starting to subside.  Because I trust him.  Because I can trust him.  Because if he's 45 minutes late he has a perfectly wholesome and legitimate reason why, and he's on his way.

When I ask if he has plans, he suggests we get together.  He doesn't do what Toby did: telling me, "I'm not sure, I'll let you know..." and then making sure he was never available.  He's inviting me to be around his friends, and even coworkers.  I'm not a secret, I'm not a guilty indulgence.  I'm someone worth taking a risk for, I'm worth all his time and attention all weekend, I'm worth never looking at his phone, and I'm worth showing off to the world.  He embraces me with warmth and sincerity.  He's coming to meet my family on Thanksgiving.

And he's incredibly brilliant and creative.  He gets excited and tells me about the complicated math involved in his complicated job, and he loves to share it so much that he has to draw it out and write out formulas and functions to elaborate.  He wears a smile even when he's lost in thought.  He appreciates my sense of humor, my compassion, and my drive to be my highest self.  We both agree that we were meant to find each other, and that this was meant to happen.

I can't begin to describe how I adore this man.