Well, I did it to myself this time.  I stayed up pretty late last night talking on Skype to Toby, which is definitely one of my favorite things to do.  Then, I attempted to go to sleep but had a lot of trouble taking deep breaths and relaxing.  I imagine I spent at least half of the night in a kind of partially-conscious sleep, like if I downed a Red Bull or something just before bed.  I don't consume caffeine after 1 or 2pm anymore, just for sleep-related reasons, so...ugh.

Also, I was asked to teach an additional high school class on Wednesday mornings, at 9am.  If you do the math, you can see where my irresponsibility sets me up to fall, right?  All I needed was a reliable alarm clock, and this morning, maybe it went off but I don't remember and when I woke up at 9:30, the alarm was turned off.  I phoned the principal and she said it's okay because there's already a teacher in the classroom (the semester began weeks ago anyway), but I'll need to step it up if I want to appear the reliable person/teacher I am (I told myself this).  So that's how my morning began.

One of my coworkers mentioned a couple weeks ago at a big after-work dinner that she had two hamsters and they turned out to be the opposite sex, and was looking for a home for one of them.  Clearly, I offered to take it.  Last evening, she brought me a little white and gray dwarf hamster that I named Lloyd, and he's very cute and only 2 months old.  He's not as interested in me as I am with him, however, so I've resorted to offering him gifts of sunflower seeds and strawberries.

Why does time fly so quickly when I'm enjoying a rare relaxing moment?

But isn't it a blessing when you and your intentions are simply understood?  When things work themselves out just when you need them to?  When you can grow and succeed because of all the support, and not stumble and shrink because of minor adversity?  I didn't have to spell it out to Toby, but he put it just the way I felt it:  I'm off getting better, in just the right environment for me right now.  I thank God every day that my coworkers are such amazing men and women, that their work ethic and loving spirit are tireless and inspiring, and that having one coworker who ices out me something fierce can be put into an emotionally healthy perspective.  God gave me that person to help me learn self-love, something I have ALWAYS struggled with.  Instead of justifying and validating possible reasons why she hates me so much, I don't waste my time being upset about it (usually).  Sometimes it makes me angry, of course, because her behavior to me is unwarranted.  But then I recall when she and her husband invited me to lunch on my birthday, which was exactly two weeks after I moved to Korea, and I was already shocked that she was speaking to me because she had been so cold to me all of that second week.

In short, with consideration, I am able to see how this is her problem, her issue, and the stick is up her ass.  I am lovable and wonderful, and I would do anything for her if she gave me the time of day, just like I would with any of my coworkers or friends, because I believe in sharing love and giving it endlessly to everyone.  That is so different from my previous and unsuccessful approach to adversaries; I have typically licked my wounds and let it plague my heart.  So, her hateful presence is also a blessing in my life.

I stopped attending taekwondo for a few weeks while the dust settled on my new semester routine.  I miss the workout, the social environment, and having sore muscles every day, and even though I'm supposed to be cleaning and studying when I'm home, I am generally unproductive from the moment I walk through my front door.

I think I will go back this evening, just once this week.  The adults from the studio are going on a trip this weekend out to the Korean mountains and then out to the East Sea, which I presume is the Pacific Ocean.  Finally I get to see the ocean from the other side!  Cool, huh?!  Anyway, "Lost" should be back on Friday and this weekend promises to be very exciting, and there are ups and downs but I guess I'm pretty happy at the moment.

Off to work.