what are words for?

I say I've had some significant personal growth this week, most especially yesterday. It's actually really refreshing to have overcome a major blockage, just a few pieces at a time. This was a good thing.

Then, today was just a really nice day, and I feel pretty good right now. Strange, because I can't think what went differently besides my attitude. Now that I reflect upon my week down here, it occurs to me that this whole week has gone pretty smoothly. Surely, I felt sick but it never got so severe, and my heart has always felt secure and content.

I miss Tucson so much. It's simply so wonderful here. If I were to go anywhere else in the country, or on the planet, I'm sure I will still fond feelings of home for Tucson. The desert here is so much more authentic; there are huge neighborhoods with wild mesquite, palo verde, cactus, ocotillo and creosote, with rabbits and lizards and coyotes skirting quickly across the road as you turn a corner, and nobody tries to fake some palm-studded "oasis" or pine forest or sycamore grove. I should rephrase that: some neighborhoods have purist landscaping. Other people have a convoluted sense of presence that must include grass and evergreen trees and any number of exotics that don't belong and often suffer in this climate.

Aside from the environment of Tucson, I also find myself quite cheerful and content. I don't want to say I'm off-track and not focused on moving forward, but at the present moment I'm comfortable and relaxed. As in, the timer I usually have ticking loudly in my head presently isn't nudging me forward exhausted and guilty. I'm able to enjoy my time watching television or reading, or sitting and writing in my journal and listening to music I've never heard that has been waiting for me. I can go to work and not feel pulled and strained and anxious the whole time I am there.

What happened? Did I just breathe in the right air finally? If I weren't so tired, I would attempt to stay awake and ponder this wonderful sense of peace and security, because I know too well from experience that life can always be different in the morning. I'm pleased to be in this moment.

I have some things to do before bed. This is all for now.

chocolate chip

I find myself in a lucky position this week. I work during the day, so the afternoons and evenings I have available to spend with friends and to watch TELEVISION shows like Project Runway I would ordinarily have no opportunity to catch up on. Thank goodness for Bravo, too, because they replay everything and do marathons of every show from the beginning of the season to the most recent. I LOVE IT.

Normally I wouldn't condone my sitting around watching tv shows all day, but I've really lamented missing the whole season of PR and having no access to cable, so this is good. I'm nearly caught up, and I feel so satisfied.

I also enjoy reading, spending time with my puppy, and soaking up the glorious Tucson weather. I no longer feel cold-like symptoms, although I'm afraid I let my lethargy become a bad habit again because of feeling so under the weather.

Anyway, it's time for me to go to bed, since tomorrow is my final day of training...getting paid for sitting in classes. I LOVE THAT TOO!

blogging myself to sleep

This cold didn't take me down as much as I feared, so here I am most certainly on my way to recovery, having only felt really ill in passing and moderately unmotivated and under the weather besides. I've polished off two 2-quart cartons of juice (orange and pineapple) in the last couple days, with one more to go (delicious fruit juice medley).

I've managed to scrape away a good portion of cat fur from the furniture so that I'm not coated in it all the time, only because it's affecting my allergies so. But if you met this cat, you'd understand why his hair would cover you head to toe, he is so cool. Right now he is holding my arm in place with one paw and licking my arm hairs backwards, while also leaning solidly against my leg and looking extremely content.

Today I took Yoshi to the vet because he was licking his little dew claw as if it hurt, and I noticed a bit of blood on it and that it was at a funny angle. Two hours of waiting at the vet clinic and 67 dollars later, his nails were trimmed and the dew claw's nail was cut off and the spot where it was split was cauterized and we were free to go. OUCH to my bank account, man. So Yoshi's fine, and he's spending the night over at Toby and Tyler's place, to recuperate, I figure.

This gives me some quality time with Max, who is taking full advantage of having me all to himself. He must really feel standoffish with Yoshi around. Aw.

I suppose it's really quite late and I have more training tomorrow, even though it's just easy as pie and relatively nearby, so that getting there won't be a huge hassle in the midst of morning commuters.

'Night, y'all.